Rhett has been very excited about this very special birthday for a very very long time. For the past year he has been very eager to be baptized. He was so eager to be baptized that we had many (probably more than daily) conversations about why he couldn't be baptized yet. We talked a lot about how we don't get baptized until we are ready to understand those covenants better, practicing keeping the covenants he was getting ready to make now, the age of accountability, Heavenly Father's teachings, and trusting in Heavenly Father's timing for us. Rhett didn't feel satisfied with any of these conversations and continued to ask why he couldn't be baptized yet, why Heavenly Father said that, and ended up saying that Heavenly Father was wrong about this and was wrong about him because he was ready.
I felt really frustrated that all of my self evaluated great answers seemed to not be sinking deep for him. I really had to humble myself and realize that even though the answers I was giving him were right, they didn't seem to be what Rhett needed. I knew that Heavenly Father knew his heart, so I prayed hard for Heavenly Father to please bless me with patience and help me to know how to teach my son in a way that would be meaningful to him and would be what Heavenly Father knew he needed. The next time Rhett brought up his fervent desire and impatience to be baptized, I got out our little paper that talked about his baptismal covenants, (something we had done many times before) but this time, I felt to take a new approach.
We talked about how one of the covenants he was getting ready to make was taking upon him the name of Jesus Christ. That meant trying hard to follow Jesus and be so much like him that it is almost like we have his same name. We had had this conversation many times before, but this time, I reminded him about one of Jesus's characteristics. That He trusted in the Father and was always willing to do his will even if he didn't necesarrily want to. I told him about how in the Garden of Gethsemane, when Jesus was getting ready to atone for our sins, that it was so hard for him that he didn't want to do it. He prayed to Heavenly Father and said in effect "Father if there is any way that I won't have to do this, then I don't want to do it. Nevertheless, not as I will, but thy will be done. Meaning even though it's so hard and I would rather not do it, I will do it if you want me to." We talked about how that type of faith and trust is part of what we are covenanting to develop as baptized members of the church when we take upon us the name of Jesus Christ. I could see Rhett's whole face and spirit enlighten and change in that moment. He asked me to repeat it, and for the following few days and weeks would ask me to say that same thing to him over and over.
I'm so grateful for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I'm so grateful that I am not alone here. I'm so grateful for the Holy Ghost and its guidance and testifying power. I love my kids with all my heart and I want to do everything I can to help them, but I am also imperfect and make mistakes. I know I can't to it alone. I'm so grateful that with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, my best efforts will be added unto. My shortcomings can be made up for. I know I need that so much.
We have truly been blessed with an incredible son. I can feel his spirit and his righteous desires. Honestly, all 4 of our kids are amazing. Rhett is an incredibly strong and tender spirit. Those seemingly opposite characteristics are both beautifully woven together in his character. I have neighbors, ward members, and his teachers at school and church telling me all the time about how sweet, respectful and kind he is. It is not uncommon for our neighbors and friends to get emotional when they talk to me about Rhett. They say he is always looking out for others and he sees needs that others miss. He is like this so much at home too. I'm so grateful for this little boy. He is truly a stalwart spirit and I know we need him. I pray every day that Heavenly Father will make up for my mistakes and weaknesses on behalf of these little angels I have been blessed to be the Mother of.
No comments:
Post a Comment